Pope Burns His Fingers While Picking Up Bible

Vatican proclaims miracle when water turns to blood

By Greg Szymanski, JD
Jan. 19, 2010

The Vatican reported today that Pope Ratzinger finally put his hands on a Bible for the first time in his life, suffering severe third degree burns to his thumbs and fingers.

After touching the sacred book, eye-witnesses heard the Pope scream in German:

“My God I told everyone this book was dangerous!”

Still in severe pain, the Pope, better known in inner circles as Pontifix Maximus or Agent Lucifer 666, reportedly then quickly dipped his hands in a basin of holy water.

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